Everyone's got a vice
by MechaHero
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING- AU head canon about damaging conditions based off of true conditions with real descriptions based off clinical research. Beta universe only unless requested and approved. Features depression, bulimia, suicidal thoughts and more. WILL UPDATE AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK
1. KV & VS

_**Trigger warning**_

_**(the following is based off of true conditions)**_

**K.V**

It was late, later than he was usually out but the train had been delayed. Karkat grunted to himself as he walked to his one bed, one bath studio. He lived in a particularly shady neighborhood and realized that walking home this late was only bad news. Smelling rain in the air, he put his hood on but he knew that the rain would seep right through the fabric.

"Figures."

The rain fell lightly in the street and Karkat picked up the pace and kept his head down. He still had a few blocks to go before he was home when he bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry."

He didn't look up and felt tingling in the back of his head, anger welling up. Whoever it was didn't move

_maybe it's a pole?_

Karkat raised his head to see a tall man with an umbrella which blotted out the glow of the street lamps underneath. Karkat grimaced and walked around him instead

_Well alright then asshole…_

Continuing on his way, he felt as if the man was following him but was not about to turn around to check. He walked faster. He soon got to the apartment complex where he lived and fumbled in his pocket for his keys. As he did so, he turned his head to see if anyone was behind him, no one was there. He pushed through the door once it was unlocked and hurried up to his floor.

As he lay in bed that night, he couldn't shake the feeling of that stranger. There was something about the anonymity that tugged at his curiosity.

The first time he felt that sting of leather on skin it shook him. It was a high, breath of fresh air, he nearly choked and yet it was euphoric. He was hit again and buried his teeth into the insides of his mouth. His eyes were clamped shut and he began to think about how he got there.

He realized he didn't know where he was, who he was with or how he got there. Karkat's eyes shot open and he looked around: He was sitting in his kitchen, naked, on the floor, with his hands tied to the table. He felt frustrated with himself, and yet the overwhelming feeling of longing left him with an erection.

_Dammit not again… not again_

True, this had been the third time this had happened. However it was the first time in the kitchen, previously it had been in the bathroom or in his room. He untied his hands with his mouth and just gently brushed his nails against his hard on. He felt weak inside before allowing himself to release.

On the back of his mind he craved the feeling of being beaten, having no control and being taken advantage of. He knew it only in his sleep and didn't want to address it, but it was there.

**V.S**

She sat back against the warm concrete building and took another drag, closing her eyes. The sea stirred up cool wind which blew low through the beach town. Vriska lazily looked over the sand dunes and watched the people visiting the beach. She people-watched frequently, it was almost a sport for her. She exhaled the smoke and flicked her cigarette butt away. She closed her eyes before looking at herself. She was wearing sweats and a hoodie. She rested her hands on her belly for a moment before standing up and heading towards one of the food vendors and preparing an order.

"I'll take two cheeseburgers, two medium fries, a vanilla milkshake and a root beer."

The vendor looked at her with a raised eyebrow and looked just passed her. She sighed.

"It's all for me, okay?"

She paid and waited for her number, chewing on the cuticle of her thumb. She got these reactions a lot. They used to make her feel self conscious, but then she got used to it. She figured people are jerks and they can think what they want. When her number was called she got her tray of food and sat down at one of the tables. Vriska pulled a hair tie off her wrist and put her hair back and began to eat.

After two burgers and half way through her first box of fries she had to pause. She was full, but she intentionally got the big order. She shook slowly from side to side, she had seen professional eaters do it when they were running out of room and it usually worked. After a minute she continued eating. As she was polishing off her milkshake she suddenly threw the back of her hand up to her mouth, preventing the food from coming up. She left the table, bringing her soda with her, still forcing down the vomit. Her eyes watered up as she closed the bathroom stall door behind her. She took off her hoodie, exposing a tank top, and kneeled in front of the toilet.

She held her eyes closed and pushed her bangs back.

_Any second now…_

She took a drink of the soda, the bubbles helped the process begin, and then she lurched forward. She threw up in the toilet, the acid burning her throat and making it hard to breathe. A moment later and she was done. She wiped her mouth and stood up, flushing the toilet and grabbing her sweater. Vriska walked up the sink and rinsed her mouth out before looking at herself in the mirror. She looked over every inch of visible skin and felt disgust. Her arms looked flabby and her belly was round and her face looked fat and she had huge love handles. But to any other woman, she looked fine, beautiful even… but she wouldn't see that. She couldn't. She splashed her face with water before taking another hard look at herself. She wanted to cry but all she felt was unbridled revulsion. She put on her hoodie in a hurry and rushed out of the bathroom, knocking shoulders with a younger girl on the way out.

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	2. TN & DS

**TRIGGER WARNING (**again)

T.N

Tavros sat by the window and watched the grass in the lot across the street sway in the wind. His fingers tapped rapidly on the armrest of the wheelchair, he had been waiting for over an hour for his… friend to show up. Tavros had some good days and some bad days, today was a bad one. The entire week, to tell the truth he had been in unbearable amounts of pain. His hips hurt the most, the pain kept him up at night; it made sitting still awful and moving around impossible.

He slid in his chair and exhaled heavily. He hated waiting for things, especially when he was in this much pain. Just then a familiar figure approached his window and he sighed in relief.

"How much is it this time?"

A scruffy-looking man pulled a conspicuous black plastic bag from his pants pocket and placed it on the window sill.

"$150"

Tavros winced; the price of meds was going up again.

"$3 per pill now?"

"What can I say, the docs are makin it harder to get these babies"

"I know…"

Tavros fished a wad of money out of his fanny pack and counted it out.

"Do you know anyone with anything stronger? Maybe some needles?"

The drug dealer raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head, taking the money

"Do yourself a solid man, and stay out of that mess. It'll fuck you up. I knew a girl who OD'd after her first shot. A fine piece of ass too. Just stay away from that alright?"

Tavros placed the plastic bag on his lap and looked at his buddy sullenly

"I know… just in case, you know?"

"Yeah whatever I'm outa here."

He shuffled off, looking both ways before crossing the street and disappearing from view.

Tavros looked around the room, swearing he had some water or something somewhere. He smiled when he saw a water bottle lying on the floor next to his bed. He poured out 2 Norcos, he needed them. He reminded himself that he needed them so desperately that he'd give up chunks of his disability check every month. He needed to not feel pain; he needed to sleep and to drown out the thoughts. He took the medicine with a swig of water.

The doctors had prescribed them to him, 4 per day, 2 in the morning and 2 at night. It had changed since then. His body needed more. He could still feel the pain with that dose. He pleaded to increase it, but in secrecy, it had already happened. He was now taking as many as 12 per day and soon, he knew, he would need more. But it wasn't like he wanted to. It wasn't like he asked for this. He _needed_ the drugs.

There… now he was relaxed 20 minutes later. He felt worm, but not feverishly. He felt cool but not to the bone. He felt like if he wanted to walk, he could, and it would be as if he were never crippled. But he knew that's not possible. He had tried it before and failed and passed out. He didn't feel addicted; he didn't think he was addicted. He was only doing what he needed to do to feel better- to feel good. He was being good to his body. He felt good.

D.S

Dave lay on his stomach and felt the needle cut into his shoulders. This was his ninth tattoo this year. He knew it was good for him, though, having it done would protect him. Most of the inmates had their own reasons for getting tattoos. Dave's reason was that he needed to stay alive and making the right alliances was crucial. He tried to stay out of everyone's way most of the time, but there was always someone who thought Dave was looking at him funny, or felt lonely or just looking for a fight.

This particular tattoo was the head of a bull; the horns spanning across his upper back and face between his shoulders. Through the pain, he had his mind on the day after tomorrow. He had been waiting for this court appeal for six years.

"What are ya gonna do when you get out of here?"

Dave hung on that question for a while before answering. The long explanation would have been to get custody of his daughter from that bitch of an ex-wife of his. Then he would find that faggot store clerk who testified against him. He'd eventually get back to working at the auto shop. More than anything, though, he missed his little girl.

"Get my daughter back"

She was the first tattoo he got, her pretty little face, the only thing that kept him strong enough in lock up. He hadn't necessarily been a model prisoner, he tried, but he wasn't successful. He had added at least two years onto his load from fighting.

_I never started any of those fights_

He wasn't sure what he could say to appease the judge. He knows what he did was wrong, but he was in a bind… He was always in a bind. In reality all he really needed was a second chance and maybe that would be enough to get him out.

"You're all done here, Strider. Looks tough. Not gonna get in anymore fights are ya?"

Dave left and only shook his head. He wasn't looking for any trouble after today. He had spent enough time here. He left to the jail yard to sit in the shade. From the yard, he could see his neighborhood and often he would just sit and sigh and wish things had gone differently.

"Het little man, you get a new doodle?"

Dave grit his teeth; he had had been hassled by this guy for months now.

"I know you heard me homes, quit ignoring me"

Dave held his gaze at the house on the corner with the big tree in the yard- his little girl loved that tree, she wanted to live there.

"I think you should meet me in my cell, Dave, we got things to talk about"

_Please go away… not today I can't do this today_

"Or we could do it right here you little bitch, open wide"

Dave stood up and walked away, hurrying towards the warden's office. He thought of things he could talk with the guards about, anything to get this guy to leave him alone. As he rounded the corner he heard running behind him and he started running too.

"Prisoner! Stop running or you will be shot, hands on your head now!"

Two guards posted in the hall had their weapons aimed at him, he had to comply. He got down on his knees with his hands behind his head. He heard the guards shouting at the small group running behind him. He thought they would stop like he did, but he was wrong. He turned to look at them and just then he got slammed with a hard punch to the jaw. He blacked out, falling to the floor.

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	3. NL & GM

**TRIGGER WARNING**

**N.L**

Nepeta is 24, on her last year of college before graduating with a B.S in Zoology and has a boyfriend of three years. She wakes up early every morning for classes which end around 1:00. Hopefully, by then, her mother is still asleep. If not she has a busy day to contend with.

On this particular day, a Wednesday in the middle of the semester, she is held up in traffic and watches the clock, anxiously chewing on her lip. As she drives up her street and parks in the drive way, she rushes to the porch to see that the front door is wide open and one of her cats is laying the door way lazily.

Her stomach drops and she searches the house frantically.

"Mom?"

She walks into the kitchen to see all the drawers and cupboards open and their contents strewn about. She starts going into a panic and checks further into the house before realizing her mom isn't home. As she makes her way back to the front door, she hears a loud scream from the house next door and her heart leaps.

She breaks out in a sprint towards her neighbor's house; their door is also open and she lets herself in.

"THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE, GET OUT!"

Nepeta makes it in time to see her very frightened and very pregnant neighbor, armed with a broom and making an attempt to shoo her mother away.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am, I'll take her home right away."

"You're damn right you will! If she shows up in my house again, I'm calling the police! You can't have her live with you anymore, she's a danger to the community and you should put her in a home!"

Nepeta was already leaving with her hands on her mother's shoulders as all this was being said and decided that she could not just let this woman say all these things

"Now you listen to me. My mother is a human being and does not deserve to be talked about like she is some sort of stray animal. And if you have the same cruelty towards her as you would towards a stray, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

And with that, Nepeta turned away and continued walking back home with her mom in toe. She didn't see the disgruntled look on her neighbor's face, but she did heed the warning and the words buzzed in her head.

Once they were home, Nepeta closed the door and locked it as her mother sat on the couch and put the T.V on. There was a long silence between them while Nepeta cleaned up the kitchen. When she was done, she sat next to her mom.

"It's getting awful late, Neppy, when is your sister getting home?"

"It's only nearly 3:00 mother."

"Well when is she getting home?"

Nepeta changed the subject

"Why were you over at the Lamonts' house?"

"I… wait a minute, Nepeta, I asked you a question! When is your sister getting home?"

Nepeta shook, she always tried to leave her sister out of things.

"She's at a friend's house. Maybe she'll be back around supper time, okay?"

The truth of the matter was that Nepeta's sister had run away. She couldn't handle seeing their mom go through the process of forgetting everything and everyone she ever loved and slowly die with no memories. There had been a bad day when their mom forgot their names momentarily, but it was long enough to put them in shock.

When she ran off, Nepeta was stuck looking after her mother, which put a lot of stress on her and the relationship between mother and daughter. She had to put her life on hold for a semester after that and had to put her boyfriend on the sidelines. The family could not afford to put her in a home and the truth was that Nepeta would feel guilty for giving up on her.

Nepeta stood up and went to her room to prepare the medication for her mom, but sat on her bed a while crying silently in frustration.

**G.M**

Gamzee was always having parties. He knew a lot of people who knew a lot of people and whenever he mentioned wanting to visit with friends, it would snowball into a huge party that he was never really expecting, but never dismissed. Often times at these parties, he would sit and watch people have fun talking with other people, or people dancing, or people doing lines of drugs.

He never wanted any of it.

He didn't want to talk to anyone; he just didn't feel like it. Whenever someone wanted to talk with him, it was just uncomfortable and he usually excused himself from the conversation to go sit somewhere else and be alone.

He did enjoy listening to music, but he never felt like dancing to it. It didn't seem like the right thing to do, and he just didn't want to move at all, really.

As for the drugs, sure he had drugs, sure had done some, but he didn't enjoy it- not like everyone else seemed to. It would get to the point where he just didn't want to do anything.

Eventually he would leave his own parties.

He was not sad, or at least he didn't feel sad. He maybe just wasn't motivated. Maybe he needed a change of scenery or new friends or something new to do. But he didn't want to _do _anything, which was the problem.

On this day he sat at the bus stop with nowhere to go. He sat there to watch people come and go with the bus. Over the course of the day, the sun got very hot and he decided to move elsewhere.

He kept walking, with nowhere in mind as to where he should stop. Day turned into night and he didn't feel the need to rest but he heard from a passerby or two that it might rain later that night.

He stopped by a store and bought himself an umbrella and continued on. He didn't think it was going to rain, but better safe than dripping wet. He sighed heavily and finally thought that he had found the place to stop. It was in the middle of a parking lot, maybe, it might have been a street, but he didn't see any cars except for ones that were parked. It was hard to tell, it was dark.

Time passed and he continued to stand. It felt right; just to stand somewhere new and with no one by his side. His mouth may have curled into the slightest grin, but just then, rain began to fall and he sighed again, opening the umbrella and lifting it skyward. The pitter-patter of the rain in the slick material of the umbrella was soothing. He found himself nodding off but no sooner had he closed his eyes when something slammed into him, knocking him back a few inches.

He opened his eyes, startled, and saw someone a bit shorter than him. He opened his mouth to say something, but the other guy said something first. He couldn't make it out, the rain was too loud. Gamzee stood there dazed and didn't want to seem rude, but he didn't hear what he had said.

The shorter guy stared at him through squinted eyes, maybe trying to get a better look at Gamzee, but couldn't so he continued walking. Gamzee stood there for a minute or two afterwards before heading home.

"Well that was weird."

He lived about two miles away, but he enjoyed the walk by himself. Enjoy may be a strong word, but he did so willingly anyway.

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	4. TP & FP

**-Trigger warning-**

**T.P**

_*AN: a large part of this segment is done by anchors of a news cast*_

Terezi pushed her nose against something cold she assumed to be the window. Her alarm had gone off which told her it was 4:30am. The world around her was dark but she didn't always see it that way. She always tried to make light of it and take everything in stride.

About a month ago she moved far up north where the snow fell daily. Sure it was cold, but it was safe. Safe was what she needed most, even if that meant she was alone. To understand all that we need to look back six months, two days, nineteen hours, and four thousand one hundred and seventy-four miles away.

**Wednesday, December 19****th****, 2:45pm**

"_For those of you just tuning in, there has been an explosion at the nuclear plant. We have little information on the cause, but we have reports that at least 30 people have been injured on site and have been rescued by emergency services. Meanwhile, an unknown number of workers have yet to be accounted for and are likely trapped inside the facility. We have Donny Rhodes in the KYWN chopper live at the scene now. Donny, it is clearly a devastating site, but can you tell us anything more on the situation?"_

"_Yes, Melissa. We have gotten in contact with one of the ground floor supervisors from the plant. He has informed us that the explosion was contained to the building of the second reactor but the cause of the explosion is unknown. We would like to make clear that this is not a radioactive explosion and the reactor itself is not believed to have been damaged as was recently believed. It is advised, however, to remain on alert as we get more information as the situation develops"_

"_Thank you Donny. We're going to take a short break but when we return; this week's weather…"_

**2:05pm**

Terezi looked up at the clock and wrote down the time on the clipboard. She had just gotten back from lunch and was about to continue on her team's project. She was in charge of monitoring the internal temperature of the fusion core. It was a tedious job, but she really loved the science of it. It never got to dangerous levels of heat but today was different. Every few minutes or so, temperatures would spike up by ten or twenty degrees. It wasn't much on the metric scale of things; the hottest it got was 1.2 billion degrees Celsius, but it was enough to take note of and alert a superior.

"I know you're new here and these things are exciting, but it does not seem like anything to be worried about. Get back to your post. If it spikes another 300 degrees we'll look into it."

Terezi was not new, she had been the project manager on her team for over three years and the fact that she still got shit was pathetic and annoying. Maybe she was overreacting about the whole thing; maybe there was something seriously wrong. Either way, it was something she thought needed to be looked into.

She consulted her team, they were a group of the most well-rounded physicists in the job and they'd hear what she had to say.

"Take a look at these numbers; the temps have gone up several times in under two hours. Sure they aren't impressive escalations, but I think we need to consider them for what they are."

The four members of her team passed around the chart of the base and heightened temperatures of the core.

"Terezi, I think you might be on to something, have you taken it up with ground floor yet?"

"Yeah I did and he failed to see the statistics. Now I know we're not authorized to purge the system, but let's consider our options. It's a minor event but there have been minor events in the past, three-mile island for example. The heat went up at a minimal incline and then they sky rocketed. I say we flush the system and put new cool water in."

A few members of her team looked skeptical but they talked about amongst themselves.

"I don't know that purging is a good idea without authorization. I hear what you're saying, Terezi, but I think we need to-"

The room went dark for a moment, then red. A loud siren blared in the room and sent tremors of panic through the group.

"What's happening? Did the system overheat?"

Terezi ran from the room and instructed her team to get to safety. She made her way to the control room where she saw smoke rising to the ceiling. There was a small fire coming from the control panel and spreading.

She checked the temperature of the core and was horrified at the levels of heat inside the reactor. At this rate of escalation, soon there would be a malfunction and eventually a catastrophe.

Something had to be done; something had to happen now, anything.

…

But she panicked.

Two very important things happened at exactly the same time.

First and foremost, Terezi single-handedly saved the lives of thousands. She hit the proverbial big red button and purged the system. In doing this, the fusion core was flooded while being drained so new, cool water was added to cool the core.

Secondly, and most importantly, Terezi was blinded by flames. The fire that had started on the control panel had suddenly gotten very intense and exploded. Shrapnel from the explosion as well as fire cut and burned into her eyes and caused searing, awful pain. She shrieked and fell to the floor.

Smoke filled the room and caused her to gag and choke and gasp for air she felt around the floor and found the door. She reached for the door handle, the metal burned her skin and she quickly pulled away at first, but she knew she had to get out of there.

What she hadn't realized is that the closed door combined with the oxygen secure room could cause a flash fire. When she opened the door an even larger explosion blew her through the doorway and through the hall, collapsing the walls and unhinging the door from its hinges.

**Presently**

Heat, flames, loud noises, the smell of smoke anything like that made Terezi not only very nervous but on the verge of passing out. She moved to Alaska to avoid her fears. She did not need to see as long as she could stay away from the danger.

**F.P**

Feferi smiled into the mirror, brushing her long dark hair. She set the brush down and stood up, moving to the tall mirror where she could see her outfit. She thought she looked very stylish but frowned suddenly, resting her hand on her belly.

She would be meeting with her parents in a public place today. She had news. Big news. Good news? Maybe.

She was walking from her car to the café when she had to stop and take a few breaths to pace herself. In this situation, things could go either good or terrible, there was no in between in her mind.

"Hi mom! Hi dad! Glad you could make it!"

Her palms started sweating, she wanted to be there first, she was nearly thrown off to see them sitting near the back. She hugged the both of them before sitting down across from them.

"Sweetheart, I'm surprised you wanted to get together in a public setting, you know your father and I don't like these… sit-down coffee shops."

Her parents were upper-class snobs but she loved them. They each ordered their drinks and bread treats. Feferi smiled and listened as her parents talked about their thriving business and new investments and stocks and shares and so on until there was a break in the conversation.

"So what's new for you, dear?"

Feferi took another handful of deep breaths and fumbled around her words.

"Whale, nothing has really been going on lately. I've been redecorating the place a little, though."

"Oh really? Is there a new roommate, or are you adding an office?"

Feferi flushed a deep shade of red and exhaled.

"More like a nursery."

Her mom sat up straight, not changing the expression of her face. Her father however; his eyes widened and his expression was that of surprised and a little upset.

"I'm sorry what?"

Her dad made the first move, not what she was expecting.

"I'm pregnant!"

Silence.

"Surprise!"

Her parents were quiet for a couple minutes, continuing their coffees. Her mom spoke up next.

"What do you think you are doing Feferi? You are not in the position to support a child right now! You're single, between jobs, part-time work."

"I'm not all of these things, mother. I am fully able to support myself and I'm not single, I have had a boyfriend for two years that you always fail to invite to holiday dinners, and I am not between jobs, I'm not even currently looking for one because I'm a full-time student. Do you even listen to my answers when you ask me personal questions?"

Her mom looked stunned. It was not like Feferi to speak her mind to her parents, especially her mom.

"When are you due, honey?"

Feferi looked at her dad, eyes watering from her backlash to her mom.

"October."

"Is it a boy or girl?"

"I don't know, I want to wait to find out."

Her dad nodded, taking out his wallet.

"No dad, I got it. It shouldn't be more than 20 bucks."

"You need the money, Fef. Babies are expensive."

"Dad-"

He held his hand up and pulled out a large amount of bills, setting a $20 bill on the table and placing another amount in Feferi's purse.

"And just what do you think you are doing?"

"If my baby girl is going to bring a child into this world, my grandchild, I want her to have everything she needs."

Feferi was tearing up now, her mom was disgruntled. She thought so poorly of her, she could feel it, but she loved her dad more than ever at that moment.

"Thank you daddy."

He stood up, and shoved his wallet into his pocket.

"Come on dear, our Feferi has a lot of remodeling to do."

Her dad left the coffee shop, but her mother remained and stared coldly into Feferi's eyes.

"You may have your father fooled, but you listen to me. You have sinned, you are having an unholy child and should get rid of the impure thing before it comes into this world."

"Wouldn't aborting it also be a sin?"

Her mother slapped her quickly.

"You do as I say or you will be exiled from my estate, so help me God."

And with that her mother rushed out the door, leaving Feferi alone and crying and confused. She didn't know what to do. She didn't share her mother's faith, but she believed her threats. She didn't want to dwell on it, but she felt lost without her mom's approval.

She couldn't get rid of her baby. It was HER baby, not her mother's. It was HER decision to make. It was HER life, HER body and yet every fiber of her being was screaming at her to do as her mom says.

This was clearly no time to be in public. She went home and cried about her conflict. Her dad was so thoughtful, so caring, he was there for her forever but at the same time, it was her mother that was the financial giant. She could take away her funds, her support would be gone, and she would be on her own with her boyfriend. She would need to provide for herself and keep up with school and raise a child and pay bills.

All these ideas were swarming in her mind and the reality of the situation was weighing on her chest like a ton of bricks. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know why her mom hated her so much, she didn't know anything anymore. She cried for hours, keeping these thoughts with her, eventually falling asleep.

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	5. JH & JE

**TW**

**-J.H-**

It took about 2 hours for Jade to get ready for classes; before she knew what she was doing, it took nearly 5. About 45 minutes was dedicated to setting the hair and waiting for it to dry, another 15 minutes if trimming was needed. The other hour was dedicated to hiding any trace of her identity. Most of this time was spent picking out her outfit, binding her chest, adjusting her hair so it was out of sight, or fixing her makeup. She did this every day or almost every day. If anyone told her a year and a half ago that she would be faking her identity to attend college, she wouldn't have believed it.

So far she had been successful in taking cover in the identity of her brother, John. Although it had been over a year since he had dropped off the face of the earth, she was never sure if he would return to mar the achievement she had created for herself. She had come so far, made so many sacrifices, took so many chances and broken at least one law in the life she had made. She had to cut ties with her family- for the most part, let her friends go, trade in her feminine charm for masculine privileges and, of course, become an identity thief.

After a final once over in the mirror she deemed herself ready for school. The college she was attending was among the highest rating in the country. It was also, just recently, made an all-male institution. It had been an on-going debate on the board of educators to convert the school into an all-male one. The reason, well the reason discussed in the press release, was that men were more likely to earn a degree on time and attain a full ride scholarship to graduate school from the college.

Leaving her room, she made sure to lock both deadbolts to her bedroom and adjust her pants before leaving the dorm room.

"Uh, John."

Jade turned around quickly to see her roommate, Edard, sitting at one of the desks. She nodded at him in response.

"I was thinking after finals we could invite some of the guys over and maybe you could invite some of your people over. I dunno, something to think about, I guess."

"Yeah"

She left the dorm and made her way to the business building. Finals were in a week and at the end of this week for her business administration class. She was great at test taking but the hardest part was not using her name or using big swooping loops in her cursive. She always wrote in cursive and making it purposely look bad was trying. As she sat down in the back corner of her very crowded class, she wondered about her brother. Where he was, what he was doing, if he was in good company. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't have had this opportunity. She couldn't help but hope that he was okay, wherever he was.

Class started out as it always did, boring and a little discouraging. Because there were no women in the school, they were always subject to insult or belittlement. Sometimes Jade wanted nothing more than to blow her cover, expose her identity and kick the professors in the face. Her business professor was the worst; he would make very snide remarks involving women having little to no knowledge in the field of business or accounting. A few students would sneer and chuckle at his comments and jokes but most were silent which made her feel a little better. The topic of the day was how important language was in doing business with other countries- which would happen for only a select few pupils and god forbid it be a woman getting somewhere in life_. Honestly if the board of educators heard some of the things he was saying, there would be something done about it for sure._

"John, was it you who claimed to be studying Japanese language and culture with emphasis in business?"

Jade looked up and fixed her glasses

"Yes, professor"

"Well then you will have an idea of how important your field is as your education in the matter advances. Now, the homework assigned last week is due today after break. I expect you all to return in ten minutes, no excuses."

Jade pushed her way through the door to find two significantly taller students waiting for her on the other side. The Lemin brothers.

"We heard you're throwing a party after finals, John."

"That would be Edard's party."

"Well as it turns out, Devin and I are having a party of our own after finals. You see the problem, don't you John?"

Jade's throat burned and her stomach tied itself in knots.

"I don't think he sees the problem Dylan."

Jade started backing back into the classroom when Devin, the thicker boy, grabbed her by the collar and pulled her into the wall behind her, followed by a punch to the gut. She coughed and slumped over.

"You see, John, the problem is that no one would go to your party when they could come to ours. We're just looking out for your pride."

Dylan leaned close to her face

"Got it, John?"

Jade jutted forward quickly and head butted Dylan on the bridge of the nose.

"Yeah, got it."

She began to walk away from them, Dylan grabbing his nose, blood seeping out through the cracks of his fingers onto the floor. Before she could get far, Devin grabbed her and shoved her to the ground, taking her legs out from under her, and began hitting her in the face and ribs.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

The professor shouted, pulling Devin from the bloodied student on the floor. He knew the battery that had occurred; it was a normal thing between the three of them. He made sure Jade had been with another student before leading Devin and Dylan to the dean's office. Jade was conscious, but only just. She stood up and covered a sore, bruised eye with the back of her hand.

"You should sit down and wait for campus security, you don't look good."

Jade made an effort at declining the suggestion but barely managed to wave her arm. She headed back to her room after grabbing her bags.

"Alright boys, why'd you do it?"

Devin sat back in his seat; Dylan was still clutching his nose as it would fall off if he removed his grasp on it. Dean Harroway was an old, thin, southern man and did not appreciate the delayed response. He slammed his hand on the desk in front of him and Dylan jumped.

"Either one of you want to explain to me why you've got a hankerin' to get academic suspension?"

"He's just a weird guy."

Devin blurted out, shifting in his seat.

"Just a weird guy… I see."

The dean stood up, rolling up a few papers sitting in front of him and beat the boys over the head with the paper.

"Get out of my office you thugs, and stay away from that boy- you hear!?"

The Lemins left the office, hunched over and mumbling.

**-J.E-**

John sat against the wall in a nearly empty room. Men uniformed in jumpsuits entered the room, lifted a corner table and left the house with it. They came in again and hauled out a heavier entertainment center. They continued entering the room and leaving with a piece of furniture until the room along with all other rooms in the house were vacant of furnishings. One of the men entered once more and walked over to John with a keyboard.

"Sign here, please."

John looked up to the bearded man with eyebrows so thick his eyes were barely visible. John reached up to take the board and signed the form of repossession. The repo man sighed and took the clipboard back.

"We will be keeping your possessions in storage for 90 days. If you fail to pay the bank your debt by that time your items will then be sold at a public auction. Do you understand the process to complete at the point, Mr. Egberts?"

John nodded

"We need vocal confirmation, sir."

"Yes, alright?"

The repo man turned his back to John and left the house, closing the door behind him. John slid deeper into his sitting position until he was laying down with his head propped against the wall. He looked at the door, expecting someone to walk through any minute. He watched that door so long that soon he dozed off.

John lived alone a thousand miles away from home. No one would be walking through that door, no one would know that he was in debt, no one would come to his rescue and no one would even care.

About an hour later, he woke up in the dark. He got up the energy to stand up, feeling an extreme pain in his neck from sleeping in a bad spot. He flipped the light switch to no avail; the power had been turned off. John groaned and leaned against the front door. He felt around the wall until he found his coat. He draped it over his shoulders and left the house without closing the door behind him.

Another night at the bar, drowning in ale and piling up a tab he didn't intend to pay anytime soon. The bartender, a portly man with a bald head and the most impressive moustache you'd ever seen named Ricky, felt bad for the young man and generally did not charge full price for the drinks he gave John.

"What's going on today, John m'boy?"

John set down a newly empty glass and shook his drink down. His body was tired of the alcohol but it was all he could comfort himself with.

"The bank sent their cronies in to take my couches and shit"

Ricky sighed inwardly. He did that often when it came to John. Ever since he started showing up at the Thirsty Maw, John had been nothing but a basket case. Ricky didn't know why but there was something about him that just reminded him of his son, maybe it was the fact that he didn't feel bad for himself in these situations.

"Well if it's any consolation, son, there's a job opening at the department store downtown."

It was a very small town on the coast of Oregon, smaller than the average city, but larger than John's hometown. There was one grocery store, one department store, five bars, a fishery and a bank. That along with about 50 homes and you've got a whopping population of about 200 if that.

"I don't know Ricky, I'm not exactly that eligible employee, who would hire the town drunk?"

Ricky smiled and turned to an older man sitting on the far side of the bar with shaggy hair and face that's seen better days.

"Oye Roger, you still captain of the Red Delilah?"

The sea captain looked up over a couple empty mugs

"O aye, Ricky, that I am. The finest ship on the docks, it is."

"Have you made any bountiful hauls lately?"

"Just this mornin' the boys and I brought in a fine haul. Why the questions, lookin' to vest yer luck with me crew?"

Ricky smiled at John.

"See? Even the town drunk can get a job. That accent is from the alcohol, he speaks fine English when he's sober- if you can catch him between drinks."

John smirked, it would be a fun job, he guessed, sailing with a drunken captain and fishing for mackerel before the sun comes up. The show on the t.v had ended and the news began.

"Just in, a bank robbery in Northern California goes awry and causes a chase up to Oregon. Bank officials say that a total of more than $50,000 had been taken. Police say that they have tracked the criminals up past the state line and now it has become a federal case. More on this as it develops."

Something was set off in John as he heard the news report. A bank robbery that had become a federal case. The guys had gotten away from the police long enough to cross state lines. They got away with robbery. John stood up and dug in his pocket looking for his wallet and shrugged.

"An early night, eh John?"

"Yeah, I've got to go look into something. I don't have my wallet on me, just add it to my tab."

"Got ya, John. Take care."

John took his time walking home, _was it even his home? It felt more like a corpse that he could sleep in. A shell_, he corrected himself, thinking of how silly he would have sounded if he thought aloud. Surely the loony bin would be more accommodating than his half-ass of a house. When he reached his small hovel he searched in the dark for a flashlight that he was almost sure he had. Eventually he found it in the junk drawer. Luckily they only took the furniture and nothing else.

He took the flashlight into his room and opened the closet. On the floor was the opening for the crawlspace where he kept a hidden compartment. In this compartment was a small stash of emergency items: two pistols, one semi-automatic rifle, a flare gun, a box of MREs, and a disposable phone. John smiled and brought the box of things up into the house and slept beside it that night. He felt safe and he felt reckless. He felt like he had nothing to lose except for these final items. This box of things was all he had to his name and he knew what he would do with it.


End file.
